(MENAFNEditorial) Giving Back
By Michael Wearing
The House on Fig Street.
What does it mean to be a community? The big picture is made up of thousands of brushstrokes. A community is made up of individuals from all walks of life. Not one of us is the same, but isn't that what keeps life interesting? Unfortunately, there are times where some of us feel like outsiders. There are so many reasons for this. Depression. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Family issues. Substance abuse problems. Domestic violence. Life can be ruthless to decent people. It can leave someone feeling they have nowhere to turn. Thanks to Michael Wearing, there is a place on Fig Street, Maleny that is a safe-haven for those in need. We're talking about the Maleny Community Men's House.
What does it mean to be a man? Michael has been asking himself this question most of his life. There are plenty of suggestions out there about how males are supposed to act. In Australian culture, the idea of being a ‘bloke' is upheld as the pinnacle of masculinity. Sure, we've progressed in recent decades, but the deep down, certain ideas of ‘being a man' remain in society. Emotions get bottled up. Anger can only be expressed through violence. Feelings and vulnerability are ignored. Instead of addressing personal issues and mental wellbeing, men often try to go numb. Burying their fears with alcohol, drugs, or just pretending nothing's wrong. Hoping it'll go away. This is how men are stereotypically expected to behave, but is this really what it means to be a man? Is being a man really about ignoring mental health at all costs? Even if it hurts both the man and those he cares about most? It's this perception Michael is dedicated to changing through his work.
Like a lot of us, Michael has had his hard times. A Vietnam Veteran, Michael has experienced depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (both from the war and his father's suicide) and other health issues. His own quest to discover himself began through seeking help from men's groups. He has since been a student, teacher and advocate of Men's Studies. He has spoken about the subject around the world, including in Canada and the UK. Michael also helped found the Maleny Men's Community House. The house itself was donated by a local benefactor (a man). Michael keeps the place afloat through donations and his pension. The local IGA, for example, provides food to the house when required. The house relies on community support, but in return gives so much back.
Michael was serving in Vietnam when his father committed suicide, he was granted seven day emergency leave to Australia and bury his father. He decided to take 18 days, a firing squad offence. After the funeral and deeply hurt and confused he started hitching from Brisbane north. He found himself in a restaurant in Cairns with only ten cents to his name, bedraggled and with no idea what to do next. Starving hungry he found himself in a restaurant in Cairns. Proffering his last ten cents he ordered one slice of toast and some water. The waitress took his order and left brought him a breakfast with everything. Toast, eggs, and a full mixed grill. The works. Michael told her he couldn't afford the feast.
‘It's on me, love,' she replied.
‘Her beautiful giving lifted me up and that started me giving,' Michael tells me.
Michael asks people who seek his help to begin by taking responsibility for one's self. It requires a person to become vulnerable. Opening up is often the toughest step, but also the most important. Respecting others is about accepting yourself, and this can be a lot harder than it sounds. However, if you are willing to make this commitment to yourself, then Michael and everyone else at the Maleny Community Men's House is there for you.
‘One of the best things in the world is being in the kitchen, having a cup of tea, and just chatting,' Michal tells me. Something so simple can make the world of difference. Whether it be providing those with nowhere to go a place to stay, providing a home cooked meal, even just a chat and a hug, it all helps. We all want to grow as people, but sometimes we need a little nurturing.
‘Everyone here tends to be staff and student,' Michael says, ‘It just works out that way. We're all learning.'
The community atmosphere in the house is infectious. Michael is a big believer in the idea of ‘elders' using their experience and wisdom to help younger generations. For example, Michael often talks to younger veterans, discussing any issues they may be facing. There is something so comforting in knowing you're not alone. Someone knows what you're going through and has your back. But the generosity isn't all one-way. Residents of the house give back to Michael in all sorts of ways. Some help out with the gardening. Others help with renovations. People change and develop before Michael's eyes, learning to accept themselves and give to others.
The house is not only for men. Women and children also come to the place as a safe-haven. Women play an essential role in the Men's House. Without them, Michael says everything simply wouldn't work. A mixture of men and women creates a balanced environment. Vera Wearing, who lives on the property, often supports local women in need, playing a vital role in the Men's House.
‘Just like men sometimes need to be triggered by men, women sometimes need to be triggered by another woman,' Michael explains.
Regardless of gender, race, sexuality and your background, we all need a helping hand now and again. What does it mean to be a human? Perhaps, as they say, it's about the journey, not the destination. We should always be trying to grow, to learn and develop respect and responsibility for others and ourselves. It may be as simple as being brave enough to ask for help when we need it, and being kind enough to give when we can. It's the kind of community we'd all like to be a part of.
Like the plants in the property's ever-expanding garden, the house is still growing. Michael and I stand in the backyard while he explains his plans. He wants to raise the house so that new rooms can be constructed under the building. This extra space will be used for accommodation, a workshop area and a meeting room. Michael also envisions a deck and some more toilet and bathroom facilities this is the dream, but the public's help is needed.
The Maleny Community Men's House provides an invaluable service to men, women and children in need. Being a community surely involves giving to those who need a hand. So much has been achieved already, but the potential for the future is enormous. If we, the community, are willing provide what we can to nurture this project, the Men's House will be able to bloom. (and giving birth to The University of Manhood, Being.)
Team Members Michael Wearing
Kate Lawrence
Suzanne Mihovilovich
MENAFN2105201700703403ID1095499146
Legal Disclaimer:
MENAFN provides the information “as is” without warranty of any kind. We do not accept any responsibility or liability for the accuracy, content, images, videos, licenses, completeness, legality, or reliability of the information contained in this article. If you have any complaints or copyright issues related to this article, kindly contact the provider above.