(MENAFN- Khaleej Times) Could be that you need some support to get you through the grief stemming from the recent loss of a loved one. For some time now, you have wanted to visit a psychologist, counsellor or therapist for a particular emotional or psychological issue that's been troubling you - but you haven't actually taken the first step to book an appointment. Why? Besides negative stereotypes and stigma that still shroud mental health issues, one of the most common reasons people postpone seeking support is that they may not know what to expect and therefore, the whole uncertainty of the process can be quite daunting and unappealing. Besides that, there are a few other thoughts that stand in the way, namely:
. How can I talk about my most personal issues to a complete stranger? . Will people think I'm crazy if they find out I've started going for therapy? . Can I deal with feeling so exposed and vulnerable? . Am I just going to pay someone to listen to me? . What if it doesn't help? . What if I don't like the therapist? The truth is, there doesn't have to be something wrong or disastrous for us to receive counselling; it could be simply to get more clarity around a particular matter or to work out better strategies to reach a goal. The whole therapeutic process should be set up in a way where you feel safe discussing your concerns, with confidentiality and objectivity as the two most central pillars. Therapists are different from our friends in that they apply scientifically validated procedures and have incredibly sharp listening skills, so they carefully observe and analyse your behaviours, patterns, thoughts and feelings, explains Deborah Serani, a clinical psychologist in New York. The hardest part is choosing a suitable practitioner and booking the first appointment. Some people go through directories and databases, while others prefer referrals from family and friends. A combination of the two would be the best way forward, since it's important to feel comfortable and connected to the person you'll be working with during your sessions. You may get it right with your first choice or you may have a number of 'first sessions' with different people before you settle with the right therapist. Don't let this phase disappoint or demotivate you. It's crucial to get the chemistry right, regardless of how long it takes. Remember, even the best therapist in the world may not be right for you. Think about questions such as whether you feel comfortable in his/her presence. Do they seem genuine and authentic? Do they tell you what to do or teach you to think for yourself? Do they enable or disable you? Once you start, pay attention to things like whether the therapist manages his/her reactions. Do they focus on you or on the clock? Do they seem to demonstrate empathy? Are they on time? Do they wrongfully allow distractions like answering phone calls or allowing others to enter the room? Do they look at you inappropriately? The client-counsellor dynamic is a relationship and should be treated as such. So, once you've cleared up these initial trepidations and acknowledge the worth and value of therapy, you can begin thinking about how you can manage the experience to reap the most benefit out of it. You're likely to feel clouded and confused but it's important to start collecting your thoughts, before the first session, so that you can use your time most effectively. In as much detail as possible, try and reflect about why you're going to counselling and what could be the best possible outcome. You see, the difference between physical and psychological ailments is that with the latter, we're not able to take an X-ray or blood tests for analysis. Moreover, diagnosis is highly dependent on the information clients share, so the more succinct, concise and clear your explanation is, the better the therapist can help you. Don't rush the first stage of this process. Trust that your therapist will manage time carefully and ask you questions so that you can provide more specific and focused answers. By the end of the first or second session, you should have a better understanding of your problem as well as knowing if you feel comfortable to continue with the therapist. Of course, the length of the sessions will depend on the concern and your proactivity in applying the behavioural strategies required to progress. Perhaps more important than the sessions is the period between them, where clients apply what has been learned. Goals will be clearly established at the beginning of this process and as you both carefully monitor the journey towards reaching those goals, you will know when it's time to stop regular sessions. Therapeutic intervention can be quite transformative, so suffering in silence or without proper guidance is unnecessary. One can afford to delay many things, but not issues concerning our health. As psychologist Daniel J Reidenberg said in a Huffington Post article last year, "The earlier someone gets help, the easier it is to get through the problem, as there will be less time and less stress involved in that." Dr Samineh I. Shaheem is a professor of psychology, and a learning & development specialist. Contact her on . Follow her on Twitter:saminehshaheem Instagram: wellbeing.psychology.awake
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