(MENAFN- Khaleej Times) Many of the disputes at times even get aggravated to the level that they turn into a physical assault verbal abuse or even end up with couples seeking divorce.
Dubai — Addiction to the Internet and online flirting account for over 50 per cent of marital disputes recorded in the emirate. Many of these disputes at times even get aggravated to the level that they turn into a physical assault verbal abuse or even end up with couples seeking divorce.
“Nowadays trust has become a rarity as almost everyone is addicted to social networking sites. We have examined an increasing number of domestic disputes that have resulted in insult or physical assault and in over 50 per cent of such cases addiction to the Internet is to be blamed. Some men become suspicious towards their wives due to the time they spend on the Internet especially when the latter mind being questioned over the addiction to the social media. If the dispute develops into a physical or verbal abuse then it becomes a crime and the police are very often called before the case is referred to the prosecution” Advocate-General Mohammed Rustom Bu Abdullah head of the Dubai Family and Juvenile Prosecution told Khaleej Times.
Based on the cases examined Bu Abdullah said men are usually more careful than women when it comes to chatting with the opposite sex online. “In 15 per cent of the cases we have seen men were to be blamed for being addicted to social media (online flirting) while women were to blame in 50 per cent of such cases. Men usually prefer to go out into the real world to meet women” he said.
The social networking sites expose people to danger that is beyond their own society he added.
The openness towards strangers and not being careful when using the virtual world could expose people especially youngsters to serious trouble warned Bu Abdullah.
In a particular case a Dubai (Arab) resident lured a European teenager into sending her photos to him after fooling her that he was a woman. “Once he obtained her private photographs he started to blackmail her and tried to extort money from her” said Bu Abdullah. She complained against him and he was eventually tried in court and convicted with a deportation order.
Respect and trust within family
Bu Abdullah stressed that parents should show mutual respect towards each other in front of their children as this would encourage their children to respect and trust them.
A good healthy respectful relation between parents can save the family from problems related to abuse of trust.
“Parents’ negligence is the prime cause behind teenager delinquencies. They should always try to be closer to them and avoid exposing their marital disputes or using bad language in front of their kids” he said.
Teenagers from broken families he added would most of the times be the most vulnerable of the lot as — fed up with their parents fights — they may reach out to others for some affection or sympathy — even from strangers.
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Discovery of the unfaithful
Dr Abdulaziz Mohammed Al Hammadi Head of Family Reconciliation Section at the Dubai Courts told Khaleej Times that the rise in marital disputes have been fuelled by the social media. “The Internet and the modern communication tools are certainly useful and have become indispensable for many individuals and businesses but they have also proven to be homewrecker. Internet has become a sort of a getaway where extramarital affairs flourish as it has made it easier to meet new people with a simple click.
We see abundance of financial resources one or both of the spouses busy with their smart phones sentimental detachment and this eventually affects the couple’s relation said Dr Al Hammadi.
In a large number of cases wives were seeking divorce on discovering that their husbands were having a secret affair.
“In one of the cases a wife sought divorce (and got it) after her husband sent her an indecent photograph to her instead of his girlfriend”.
In another case a woman sought divorce from her husband after she saw a large number of followers and friends on her husband’s Twitter and Facebook account. “She was overwhelmed with jealousy after she saw the conversations he was having with other women. She asked her husband to make up his mind between carrying on his online flings and divorcing her” Dr Al Hammadi said.
The Reconciliation Section then advised the husband to withdraw gradually and calmly from any further conversations with other women and the couple reconciled.
According to Dr Al Hammadi the discovery of unfaithful women by men also exists but it is less common as the society is still sticking to customs and traditions.
“We see a lot of couples with such problems with the average age ranging between 25 and 35. But we need first to assess the damage inflicted to see if a solution could be worked out or not. If the cheating is still in its first stage and it is still just flirting on the Internet then reconciliation is possible.”
Reduce the usage of Internet
The damage resulting from addiction or misusing the Internet is not limited to the husband-wife relation but it could also involve the children who are unaware of the nature of the people they open up to. Hence they should be guided by their parents when using the Internet. Usually parents are too busy to realise the danger their kids might be exposed to when using the social media which exposes them to strangers from all walks of life.
“We send a message to every mother and father and say that they should in no way ignore the risks of social media. Fortification is the solution. Bring up your kids by instilling in them good virtues and traditional values. There should be a sort of control on the children but not in any way an intimidating questioning. Parents should get closer to their children by showing interest in using the same applications and by doing that they will be aware to what activities they indulge and whom do they interact with” said Dr Al Hammadi.
Preventing the new generations or your spouses from using the Internet and modern technology won’t do any good but on the contrary would lead them to get more inquisitive and use it more he added.
We advise parents to control their kids with love and tenderness and avoid interrogation. Parents should get more familiar with the new tech tools to get closer to their children in a friendly way which makes it easier for them to enter their world.
Effects
“It is a two-way road. It is up for us to decide how to use the social media; whether we want to enrich our culture and knowledge promote and market our businesses or use the networking sites in a harmful way” Dr Al Hammadi said.
The delinquencies and problems resulting from the misuse of such networks are countless. They can be used to promote trouble and instability. More people are falling victims to fraud blackmail drugs and human trafficking rings online.
Dr Al Hammadi added: “Control is of utmost importance as it prevents the exposure of the teens to inappropriate material which might be encouraging religious intolerance or moral decadence” he said.
Programmes to raise students’ awareness
Dr Al Hammadi has been taking part in several awareness programmes for high school students.
One of those programmes is Maharat (meaning ‘skills’ in Arabic) which introduces students to four important skills including the virtues and morals boosting one’s self-esteem modern technology and communication tools and respect for the parents.
Fact Box:
Addiction to the social networking sites accounts for 50% of marital dispute cases
In 50% of marital dispute cases wives were blamed for Internet addiction.
In 15 % of marital discord cases husbands were blamed for online flirting
Causes of marital disputes till end April 2015:
Cheating: 50 cases
Unjustified estrangement : 44
Abnormal sexual relation : 3
Lack of trust : 7
Pathological suspicion : 9
Short and weak conversation : 112
Rushing to divorce : 149
Causes of marital disputes in 2014:
Cheating : 127 cases
Unjustified estrangement : 147
Abnormal sexual relation : 10
Lack of trust : 17
Rushing to divorce : 269
Short and weak conversation: 150 cases