(MENAFN- Khaleej Times) Your move-in day may be the first time youre properly introduced to your roommate or you may be lucky enough to have chosen an old friend to share your house with.
Our level of comfort security and satisfaction at home is central to our well-being and productivity during the day. In the UAE there is a significant number of people who share living accommodations and because of different personalities cultural backgrounds misunderstandings and unresolved conflict their home can quickly turn into an unhappy battlefield.
Your move-in day may be the first time you’re properly introduced to your roommate or you may be lucky enough to have chosen an old friend to share your house with. Whatever the case may be living with someone within a shared space can prove to be both exciting and demanding. While human psychology makes arguments and disagreements a natural phenomenon it’s important to feel happy and comfortable at your home-away-from-home. In order to have a functional and smooth time make sure you act/speak in ways that promote balance and understanding when rooming with a roomie.
Start on a light note by discussing your hobbies personal habits daily routines pet peeves and emotional allergies. While you might want to sleep with the window shut your roommate may prefer sleeping under a pile of blankets with an open window. Take some time out for communication and get to know each other’s personality.
It’s important that you discuss your schedules and visit times to avoid any future conflicts. If you study/work at night and sleep during the day or your friends come over on Friday nights get it across to your flat mate as it may subject them to potential disturbance. Common sense and mindfulness should be generously applied so think about whether clacking heels might wake up the other person as you’re getting ready for work.
Don’t interrupt their daily routines or trespass their private ‘territory.’
If your roommate enjoys meditating in the morning or wishes to have some ‘me time’ before going to bed an ideal solution would be to let them have it. In order to promote a healthy living environment adhere to the their basic needs and respect each other’s privacy and routines.
As you get to know each other you may feel your roommate is an introvert or follows a strict exercise and extracurricular routine but abstain from trying to change their ways or interrupting them. Moreover the ‘Don’t touch without asking’ rule may be taken for granted but it’s essential that you avoid violating it. Avoid using personal belongings such as shampoo or drinking their milk thinking that you will confess to it later as you may only end up losing their trust and jeopardising a calm living environment.
Cleaning and backlogging are undoubtedly the most pressing issues faced by people who share their living space with another person. You may find dirty dishes in the sink bowls of rotting oatmeal on the table or an empty milk bottle in the fridge just when you’re running late for work. Take an initiative and establish a ‘Clean after Yourself’ rule. Divide the cleaning tasks into vacuuming dishwashing toilet cleaning and so on and reach a consensus on who will be doing what and when and discuss any potential what-if scenarios.
The best way to tackle backlogging issues is to pitch in on a weekly grocery budget for necessary items like dishwashing liquids milk bread cooking oil etc. and take turns on re-stocking them before they run out. Fridge magnets soft boards and sticky notes may all come in handy to keep your roommate updated with any changes in the schedule or notify her of the expiry date on the eggs. Simply show that you care about your shared living space and willing to take responsibility for it.
Living with someone with similar fashion tastes may instantly double up your wardrobe however you need to establish common grounds on sharing each other’s stuff. It maybe that a certain shirt or watch is too dear to your roommate and bears a ‘No sharing’ label that’s when communication becomes a key solution. Of course it’s recommended to set these boundaries earlier to avoid later conflicts.
Hospitality and care go a long way when living with someone. Sharing is caring for both of you so if your roommate provides the microwave for your hot pockets pitch in to get a TV for the movie night or show up with your own refrigerator to share.
Sharing a home does not necessarily imply constantly asking for stationery supplies or cooking oil. While it’s alright to occasionally borrow you may end up annoying the other person if you take it too far so it’s necessary to develop some level of independence and self-sufficiency.
It’s okay if you and your roommate don’t get along well — stay positive and polite and make every effort to keep the environment amicable. Don’t let it upset you too much because through proper communication and initial ground rules you can find solutions that once again promote peace and comfort in the place you seek refuge every day.
Dr. Samineh I. Shaheem is the Learning & Development Director at Kawader (www.kawaderuae.com) and the owner of Life Clubs UAE. She has studied and worked in different parts of the world including the USA Canada UK Netherlands and now the UAE. She co-hosts a radio program on 103.8 FM Dubai Eye (Psyched Sundays Voices of Diversity 10-12pm) every Sunday morning discussing the most relevant psychological issues in our community. Twitter: saminehshaheem/Facebook: Life Clubs UAE. Please forward your thoughts and suggestions for future articles to OutOfMindContactgmail.com